"They" say it takes 21 days to make a habit, are "they" right?

Sometimes I think what "they" say isn't always true.  How many times have we heard from our kids or ourselves, well..."they said!", only to discover it wasn't a true statement at all.  I've been reading through the book of Job this month and have really had my eyes opened to the fact that "they" can say a lot of good things. Things that make sense, things that are sometimes even based on some truths, but just the same aren't truth at all. Scripture tells us that  Satan is the father of lies.  It also continually shows us how he knows the truth and often uses it to try and get us to believe what he's selling.  If you sprinkle a little truth on anything it seems to be right, until you start digging down.  Which brings me to the "it takes 21 days to make a habit statement" is that truth?

My experience has been that I can do anything for 21 days.  I think we all can, but habits, in order to be life changing and stick through time, require a heart change.  Yes, if you start something and make it a goal to go 21 days, chances are good you will get into the routine of doing that thing and then want to or be used to doing it enough that you will, in a lot of cases, continue.  But...(sorry grammatical friends rolling their eyes for me starting a sentence with that word!) if you're heart hasn't changed to believing whatever it was is truly beneficially after awhile you will once again slack off and then have to start the whole process over again.

How do you get your heart to change then? Here is what I have discovered has helped me sometimes make the change from my heart and not just from needing to complete a set of steps to get to the 21 day goal.
1. Ask why am I doing this to begin with?
There are a lot of things that we do because others tell us it's right.  Let's look at scripture reading first. A Bible believing church will tell you and encourage you to be in the Word daily. Truth is God wants us to grow in our relationship with Him, and in order to do that, like any relationship, we need to spend time investing in it. However, if we are only doing it, for 21 days, or longer because someone told us to or to check it off our list, are we really investing in that relationship? I know, I know you have to start somewhere and I wholeheartedly agree.  At different points in my life when I found myself having stopped taking the time to spend with Him each day, I would write it on my to do list.  I knew for me if I got to the end of the day and still saw "devos" listed I would feel the need to complete it.  So, yes, start somewhere. As you start though, keep asking yourself am I doing this for me, or for others?  Maybe that sounds selfish, but too often we are motivated but what others are asking us or telling us to do, and when that is our motivation it will only last as long as we care what they think. At some point you have to make a determination that it is valuable, that it changes who you are, or who you want to be, and that the time and effort it takes to make those changes is worth it. Until it becomes personal it truly won't stick. That's what I mean by a heart issue. It needs to be about what YOU want and desire, not because someone, no matter how smart they are, told you to do it!

2. Am I willing to make the time for whatever it is?
We live in a culture of busyness.  We are always too busy for everything and everyone, although somehow we have plenty of time to be on our phones, watch tv, sleep extra, yada, yada, yada! I'm right there too a good deal of the time. So how do we combat that?  We look at what is important in our lives, and begin to sort out our priorities. (for those of you Harry Potter fans can you just hear Ron saying that, or is it just me?) How do we do that?  For me it's about asking myself usually daily, what is most important today. What do I need to get done? What do I want to get done? Who do I want to invest my time in? I'm a list maker, and typically have a home list and a school list, BUT I give myself permission to not complete them when other things come up.  I've discovered that I need to spend time with God each day.  It helps me stay focused on what is important for the day ahead.  I'm willing to make time for Him, which means I will need to sacrifice time doing something else in my day, one of those things on the list might need to move. That's ok, because I know for me that has to come first! After that I based my need to do and want to do lists on where I am.  I'm blessed that my career requires that I be at work Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. So on those days my need to do list has to be focused first on work items. However, I'm a teacher so, my school list tends to come home with me and be with me on my days off too! On my day's off though I try to focus on what my household needs to have done first.  Sometimes for my household to function better I need to finish up lesson plans while the family is at work or school so that I can properly invest time in them when they are at home. That leads to question three...

3. Is this something that will improve who I am not just for me, but for the people I come in contact with?
Losing weight is an admirable goal.  My weight has been an issue for a long time. Until I realized first, that I needed to do it for me, not for those telling me to. (answer to question one) Then I needed to be willing to take the time it would mean to make healthier food choices, add in drinking water (which does take time as you have to keep making stops in small rooms!) and getting proper exercise and sleep. In the past year and a half I've lost 110 lbs.  In that time I realized that first of all that was for me. That my heart's desire was to be healthier and it was what I wanted. Mom couldn't make me do it, my doctor couldn't make me do it, my family couldn't make me do it... I needed to want to do it. Then I needed to make time to do it, and make it a priority.  Finally, to make it last it has needed to become something that improves me for me and for those I'm with.  When that last step happens it's the heart that really has learned. I've learned that when I eat better, get some exercise in, and sleep better I not only feel better, but I act better too!  Which means it does improve who I am for the people around me.

Perhaps this is just rambling to some, but I've learned in life, through scripture, and through others that when "they" say something, I need to make sure it's truth, that it is important and that it is something I'm willing to take time for.

New Year...well at least it's still January!

Good morning world or at least those who may choose to wander onto this post.  I've missed writing, but life priorities don't always allow me the time I'd like to do that one extra thing.  Just the same, I may try to start fitting it in again.
So, what's been going on?! Well since my last post in April of 2015... a LOT!


1. Became the mother of 2 teenagers!!
2. Hired as the Music Teacher at Parma Heights Christian Academy
3. Celebrated our 19th anniversary!!
4. Started balancing working full time (yes, technically part time, but ask my fellow staff members I tend to forget it's suppose to be my day off and go in anyway!) being a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, a friend...you get the picture!
5. Celebrated my 1 year anniversary with my nutritionist and down 110 lbs!!
6. Survived my first Christmas program with 154 students
7. Reached a new year with new goals
8. Restarted my focus on decluttering the house using http://www.home-storage-solutions-101.com, declutter calendars...actually did this some last year so I've already crossed off items through March! Also reading

 and referring to http://www.abowlfulloflemons.net

9. Started these amazing workouts with Maureen Hausler who is a personal trainer who runs her Mofit business, and is encouraging, engaging and pushes her students to keep moving forward without making them feel like they are under pressure to do more than they are capable of.
10. Decided to try and get reorganized with writing again!!


That's where I'm at. I've allowed myself a few minutes today to start to kick this back off. We'll see what happens.  This fall a friend commented on my Facebook wall that they were still looking for my organization/home management book to come out. (haven't even written one!), but that inspired me to relook at my life and what I can accomplish and what I should accomplish everyday. I guess if that interests you then tune in. Hopefully the routine I've begun to create will inspire you in some way!

Today's Agenda:
Wake up earlier than normal (only by a minute- but hey I was out of bed at 6am, instead of hitting snooze and calculating how much longer I could lay in bed and still get my kids lunches together and them out the door!)

Spend time in the Word. As our youth pastor, Dan Adams, just preached on we need to be Scripturating! I've discovered getting up, even a couple minutes earlier has allowed me extra time to be in the Word and not feel rushed! Currently reading through Exodus with my First5app, and Job with http://womenlivingwell.org, and then recently the message at church was focused on the book of Romans, so trying to read through that as well. Usually only get through a chapter in all three books if it's my day off. I also use the youversion app and am following their pray through the daily verse plan right now.

Get kids off to school

Make a list of what I need to get done for home and work. Have jury duty in 2 weeks so need to write sub plans!! UGH! While on that topic, yes I know it's my civic duty, but, I know people who would love to do it, so could we have them called instead?!?

Workout in my Mofit class! Can feel my legs and arms burning already

Meet with my daughter's counselor to review the plan for classes for the next few years

Get stuff done around the house

Get dinner, homework and those things started before heading off to church

Help with choir practice tonight as the assistant director can't be there.

A pretty full day all things considered.

This is a day the Lord has made! I can choose to rejoice and move forward or grumble and complain. It's entirely up to me, and at least today, I'm ready to choose joy!!