It's hard to even start this review. Book 35 was Choosing to See by Mary Beth Chapman. Wow, doesn't even begin to describe the life she has lived especially these past several years. As long as I can remember I have been a fan of Steven Curtis Chapman's music. So in May of 2008 when I heard the crushing news that his daughter had been killed in a car accident I felt compelled as so many across the world did to pray for his family. At the time I had just purchased a CD of his with the song Cinderella on it. It's a song about how quickly little ones grow up, and that before you know it they are ready to be on their own and gone. For days after the accident the radio stations would play the song and I'd have to shut it off, sick over what had happened to their family and wondering why God would allow this to happen to a man who had spent his adult life telling the world about God through his music.
When I heard Mary Beth Chapman was writing a book about what God has taught her over the years I knew I had to read it. Part of me was curious, would she say what really happened, at the time of the accident there were only sketchy details, would she talk about how she simply trusted God and moved on? While she did tell of the accident, and her life before and after the book was so much more about journeying with God. Yes, she absolutely trusted God, before, during and after the accident. But at the same time she trusted Him with her heart, and her family, she struggled with, and most likely still does struggle with questions that may never be answered this side of heaven. She poured her life out on the pages of the book. At times I'd find myself laughing over different stories she was telling, and the next I was brought to tears.
Real. That is what she allowed herself to be for everyone through this book. She shared with honesty her struggles, her questions, her trials. Yet, as she did I found myself drawn to the fact that regardless of the storms life may be throwing at her she was going to hang on, if only by a thread to the fact that God is in control, that His love is real, and that He will never leave us. We might not feel His presence at times, we might wonder why He would allow something to happen, and we might honestly scream out to him in anger. Yet, He knows how we feel, He has felt our pain, and He alone will be with us no matter what. I don't often buy books, but this one I knew I had to purchase. Not so it will sit on my shelf for years to come, but so that I can pass it on to someone else to read. Perhaps her story will help someone find the peace, the hope and the joy that comes from knowing the Lord. That they too will choose to see God, perhaps for the first time.
The Chapman family is till in my prayers. I pray for them as they live without their precious daughter, and as they continue to show others what it means to really walk by faith.
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