Six Ways to Keep the "Little" in Your Girl: Book 1 for 2015

Book 1

Six Ways to Keep the "Little" in Your Girl

by Dannah Gresh

We are living in a time period where we are allowing our children to grow up quickly.  It is a scary time, because things we didn't have to deal with as children our kids now deal with earlier. They are constantly bombarded with social media, and television programs that talk about boyfriend/girlfriend relationship at a young age, given clothing choices that aren't suitable for them, and ability to contact people without us as parents even knowing they are doing it.  While the title might suggest that we should make our daughters act or behave as though they are truly still "little" kids when they are in their tweens and beyond, is not the case at all for the book.

The book is about helping them grow and develop in a way that allows them to still have their childhood.  To learn how to play, for instance, instead of being forced into an adult role early.  To experience role playing, with dolls and kitchens and other things that allow them to mimic jobs they might have later in life.  To be active and to enjoy doing things that don't have a screen.  This isn't easy, even when you have screen limitations.  The biggest problem in the screen limitations is that we don't give ourselves any when we are trying to get our kids to respect them.  When was the last time you turned your phone off, or decided not to look at Facebook or Twitter or Instagram when you could be looking at, talking to or spending time with your child?  We need to lead by example. We need to play with our kids, we need to show our kids that media is not going to run our lives.  Setting limits and sticking with them for the whole family is a great idea.  Recently, our pediatrician asked, when our daughter mentioned having trouble sleeping, if she is watching anything in her room or texting anyone at bedtime.  For the most part the answer is no, although sometimes she feels she needs to wind down by looking at Pinterest.  The problem is, he said, looking at screens the last 60 minutes before you are trying to sleep actually causes your brain to have more trouble settling down.  So, we need to adjust. While our kids have their phones in their room on docks charging and listening to music we need to adjust the rule to no screen time for about an hour before bed. We also need to follow through on that, by checking on them.  In addition, we need to practice what we preach and do the same for our health.

It's not just about screens though. The clothing industry and the toy industry are trying to get us to raise a generation of girls that show off more of their bodies to the world then they should. Clothing is tight, short and low cut. Dolls wear the same thing and society finds it acceptable.  As parents we must make choices in guiding our daughters in modesty, and sexual purity. We can do this by helping them to make choices in what they wear and what we are willing to buy.  They can still be fashionable, but we need to work hard to stay on top of what they have access to. We ourselves need to be checking our clothing as well, what are we demonstrating? I'm so glad that I've started this early with my daughter. She understands that yoga pants and leggings are not pants to wear without something covering your butt.  When she picks out outfits we discuss her needing to get final approval from Dad on whether things are to low, tight or short, and to realize that as she grows we may tell her no, and she will be expected to change from time to time to something more appropriate. Since we started this early, she seems to have a good understanding of what is right and wrong. While she puts pins of dresses for future dances on Pinterest (a site I can monitor her access on), she's already paying attention to if they are too short or too low cut.  If they are, she doesn't choose them. She will comment privately to me when people she sees are wearing things that aren't suitable and then we have the ability to openly discuss the topic again.

The book suggests that you should also talk to your children about sexual activity as they mature. Starting off with just enough information and growing in what they know,  so that they are aware of the truth and your values and beliefs before they are presented with what the world feels is acceptable.  This can be a scary topic, but the author gives suggestions on how to natural speak on such things.

There are other items covered in the book as well. Topics and thoughts that will help you learn to be more involved in your daughter's life and to guide and direct her on the path to growing into the young woman God has designed her to be.  Dannah makes no excuse for her book using Biblical quotes and connotations. She is a Christian and stands by what she believes. Her thoughts are sound, and very often even supported by those who'd find her religious beliefs not to their liking.  Are we willing to protect our daughters and raise them into beautiful young women?

I found many of the ideas in the book helpful, and also was able to be thankful that many of them I had already done with my daughter as she was younger.  This book ideally should be read prior to the tween years, and in my opinion would be the most helpful to a mother of an 8-10 year old.  It is one I plan on passing along to a friend with a daughter in that age range and I do highly recommend it.

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